In 1948, Askew published its 658-page etiquette book, written by editor Millicent Fenwick, providing how-to’s, do’s and don’ts, and correct manners for a variety of situations. But as Fenwick wrote in the introduction: “The liturgy is based on tradition, but after nearly 75 years it may have changed. Oh, and behave!” Askew has a new monthly column where experts reflect on today’s evolving social etiquette.
For lovers of a certain type of clothing, all bets are on sample sales—where designers sell unsold, damaged, or lightly worn (hence “sample”) items, often in an anonymous, unassuming location, just for the sake of sale. But when surrounded by these huge designer discounts, even the most modest shopper can get squeamish. It’s a unique New York experience that requires ingenuity, planning, and sharp elbows to fully enjoy.
Oh, be nice! Sample sale regulars Jenna Lyons and Alex Consani tell us about their best practices at this month’s sample sale. The former needs no introduction: Lyons designed the entire aesthetic before taking on the role of creative director at J. Part of it comes from sample sales. (So much so that Lyons held a huge, high-profile closet sale earlier this year.)
Opposite Leon was model Alex Consani, a TikTok wonder who is also the face of Marc Jacobs and Etro and who recently handed out a bottle of bleach at Moschino’s show during Milan Fashion Week. The witty Consani, who speaks almost entirely in quotes, has a long history of discounting, not having new threads, and sample sales. Find his sample sale etiquette “rules” guide below.
Eskum: You received a coveted invitation to a sample sale. Are you quiet about it?
Lyonne: To everyone in the world, yes. But I will definitely share it with some people who I think would enjoy it. I don’t really like shopping alone.
Consani: Well, I’m not a gatekeeper kind of girl. I think it’s important to share the opportunity to appreciate fashion — especially since not everyone, especially my age, can afford it. Not all of my girls have shades, but I’ll point out one or two. I won’t just say, “Everyone, let’s meet in this sample room!”
You heard that no one invited you to the sample sale, but you wanted to go – did you go there on a whim?
Lyons: I’ll make a face first. Then I call up everyone I know and ask if I can come in.
Consani: Girl, if I wanted it, I would crash it. What would they say? No? If the pocket is open, the door should be open too. That’s my opinion.
An acquaintance whose name is not on the list asks you to share your PR contact for a sample sale. Do you do this?
Lyons: It sounds bad, but it depends on whether they do the brand justice. I take these things very seriously! It’s similar to giving a reference – I won’t give a reference to someone I don’t think will be a good fit for the project or the job. So, if it’s a Prada sample sale, I’ll be very thoughtful and careful.
Consani: Yeah, I’ll share PR contacts any day! What if they don’t contact them? I want to buy that pair of Manolos for my friend. I thought so.
How early do you arrive and queue?
Lyons: Well, that’s a tough question. I’ve never stood in line for a sample sale. I’m usually invited by members of the press and don’t have to wait. But do you have to stand in line? I can’t stand it. I can’t do that! I can’t wait! I have no patients. I would squirm and squirm, and then disappear. I also realized that I don’t need anything in my life for which I would waste an hour waiting in line. There’s nothing in my life that I need, except my health, for which I have to stand in line.
Consani: I would say a good time works for me, but I know people will be there early in the morning. So it depends on what the sample sale is about and how involved I want to be.
What to wear to a sample sale? Sneakers? Is there something I can easily put on and take off in the locker room?
Leon: It’s a job! I’m going on a mission! I wear slip-ons. I’ll wear leggings or tights or something. I usually like to go without a bra and leggings and wear a simple sweater or sweatshirt. I also don’t wear lipstick or a lot of makeup at sample sales because you’re always getting dressed and undressed, and you don’t want to wear makeup over your clothes. Have a clear strategy, especially if you want a really good sale.
Consani: Everyone has their own preferences, but I’m a high heels girl, so I wear high heels. Maybe something easier to wear – like I wouldn’t wear a corset to a sample sale, but it also depends on if I’m invited or not. Because if I’m not invited, I’ll come in wearing a corset and heels so you know I’m here for fashion.
What are your thoughts on community locker rooms at sample sales?
Lyons: I went to the Prada sample sale – oh my god, my friend Sarah and I cleaned the house – but I didn’t stop and deal with people. The boys are very hospitable but they also have time to spend with each other and the dressing room isn’t a mess.
Consani: I think public locker rooms are great. Unless you’re surrounded by supportive people who tell you to put it down — so they can pick it up themselves — it’s questionable. If it’s a group of girls or the majority of the girls are supportive of me wearing something, if they give input but nothing positive, then I’ll support it. But what about when it’s a place of judgment? No atmosphere.
Have you ever wondered what underwear you will wear and whether they will be visible in a public changing room?
Lyonne: I will say this; the only thing that didn’t show on me was my boobs. I’m lucky; my boobs are still fine, so I don’t care (if they’re visible). I don’t usually wear a bra so I didn’t want to try anything with a bra because I think it changes the way your clothes hang and it can give you a different shape.
Kansani: See nudity? Oh girl, I don’t have a problem with that. I mean, at the end of the day, you just want to buy clothes to show the world. Who cares if the girls at the sample sale have small boobs? In my opinion, there’s nothing to be afraid of. But I would like more privacy, and of course I value privacy, especially when it comes to nudity. I’m trans and locker rooms are definitely a topic — just being able to get ready in a comfortable place. But I’m so lucky that I don’t care about that.
Have you tried anything on the aisle?
Lyon: Sure. In a sample sale, anything is possible. It would be nice if you could make your decision in the aisle instead of going to the locker room or waiting in line. It’s like, please do it.
Consani: I think sometimes it’s better because you can see people’s reaction when you wear something. At sample sales, or at least wardrobe sales, it’s not uncommon for people to come up to me and say, “Wow, that looks great on you!” But in the dressing room, everyone is so focused on themselves that you don’t really get a chance to conduct my own conversations that are taken very seriously.
You’re considering purchasing an item—will you take it with you to the auction for safekeeping?
LYONS: I wouldn’t let it go. Oh yeah, wouldn’t put it down.
Consani: Well, if I think I want it, I’ll keep it. When I get ready in the dressing room I’m almost on a catwalk. I show it to the girls and get feedback – I want people to react to my clothes, whether it’s good or bad. If I get good or bad feedback, then I know it’s something I should buy. If everyone looks around, I put it back on the shelf.
How many blocks can you place at one time?
Leon: How much can you bring? Listen, it’s like a game. Sorry if I’m still not sure, I’ll keep this going until I find out.
Consani: It doesn’t feel good if you can’t hold everything in your hands. Like, girl, how many dresses do you need? Do you understand what I’m saying?
Someone is touching something you want – do you interrupt? Or protect the seeker?
Lyons: I’m all for telling someone, I don’t think this will work for you, but it feels really good to me. I don’t mind saying that. I also think sometimes people need encouragement in some way. Sometimes you can tell someone something you’re not sure about. And then if you actually tell them, “Oh, I really like this. Do you agree?” Sometimes, it shifts a person’s scale. In my J. Crew days, we used to have a lot of sample sales, and they were huge. I remember distinctly I had a big, thick cashmere sweater that I loved so much. I actually petitioned for it. I was young and I was like, “I want that thing, and I’m not going to leave it alone.”
CONSANI: Well, if somebody’s holding something, I mean, it’s crazy to be that close to it! But it’s like a game of chess; once they lose the piece, you’re free to move. So, yes, I’ll take it – if it’s something I want and somebody puts it down, I’ll take it right away. But somebody? Then I’ll let them have it. Things were never that serious.
Do you talk to other buyers about their purchases? Or let them do it?
LYON: Sure. People often ask me what I think. I was totally prepared to tell them, but I noticed, and this is really weird, a lot of the times people ask me what I think — for any store, not just the samples in the basement — people never do that.
Do you set a budget?
Lyon: I don’t mind. I’m not strategic about it at all. I thought maybe I should do this? But no, I don’t stick to a budget. You never know what you’re going to get. I don’t think I’ve ever spent more than $10,000 at a sample sale.
Consani: Look, I’m a frugal queen. I love saving money and sample sales provide a great opportunity. To be honest, I’m someone who buys things as an investment, but I’m not at the point in my life where I can spend more than four figures on one piece of clothing at a time — only if or when I have the option, maybe? I just have to really like it. But I try to have the mindset that I don’t want to spend more than rent.
Can I still negotiate?
Lyons: Yeah, especially if it has issues or is damaged. I don’t usually buy things like that, but sometimes things have little holes in them. I don’t care. I want that.
Consani: I would bargain, especially if the item was damaged or used. I was the first one to say, “Okay, there’s a missed shot. Can we take $5 off?” It’s embarrassing to say that because I know a lot of my friends and colleagues in this industry think I’m going to pay whatever it takes no matter what. But listen, this is nothing new, so let’s talk about it, you know?
Can you take photos and shop for others?
Lyon: Not at all. Like I said, nobody listens to me anyway.
Consani: Yes, but I think I have to talk to the person before I go to the sale. It’s great to be able to shop for someone else while shopping for yourself.
What should you do if you purchased an item during a sample sale and now regret it and are unable to return it?
Lyons: I have a big storage space downstairs and I’ll either give it away or sell it. That happens less now than it used to. So I think it’s always good not to ask too many people. Oh my god, I have a friend who I had to stop shopping with because no matter what she encouraged me to buy, I’d come home and say, “What was I thinking?”
Kansani: Real and genuine. I think it’s a great way to get rid of all the guilt.
Someone compliments an item you got at a sample sale on a steep discount. Do you also think it’s a bargain?
LYONS: Oh my god, yes. It’s the best.
Kansani: I like to bargain. See, I saw something I liked and I wore it, and it wasn’t expensive. I’ll show it off because it’s rare. It’s something to celebrate. I’ll talk about it.
What’s the worst behavior you’ve ever seen at a sample sale?
Leon: The worst behaviors are wearing too much makeup, staining your clothes, leaving clothes in a pile in the dressing room, wearing too much jewelry and getting stuck, and disrespecting your clothes. High-end sample sales, in particular, I find disgusting. I have a deep respect for clothes and I know how tough working in retail can be. We’re all here for the same reason, the love of clothes, so let’s take good care of them.
Consani: Taking things away from people. I don’t think it’s that serious. At the end of the day, it’s just clothes. Yes, it’s a deal, but it’s not the same as Black Friday 2013. Like, there’s no reason to be upset about clothes, you know?
What’s the best thing you’ve ever bought at a sample sale?
LYON: How many years? I remember Kataone Adeli. I’ll never forget it. When I was younger, I loved Kataone Adeli, but I didn’t have the money to buy a lot of her clothes — pants were $400 or $500, and jackets were over $1,500. There was one cashmere coat that I looked at over and over. And I went to the store probably four or five times and couldn’t do it. I couldn’t spend the money. I’ll never forget she had a sample sale; I went in and looked and it was right in front of the coat rack. I walked right in, I was sure I’d bump into someone, but I didn’t care. I got that coat and it was one of my happiest moments. It’s totally been my year and I’m so happy.
Consani: I don’t remember where it came from, but I found a 2008 Marc Jacobs Louis Vuitton bag, it was from the collection where Naomi Campbell wore the nurse’s uniform on the runway; that bag is just a score in my eyes. It’s the Louis Vuitton monogram with purple spray paint and then a red python handle. It’s awesome.
What is the best sales sample?
Lyons: The Prada sample sale is phenomenal. I don’t think people understand why clothes are so expensive, but having worked in this industry, I know why certain things are so expensive — the level of quality of the fabric, the stitching, the embellishments, the quality of these clothes. So it always feels special to be able to get something for less than it cost to make the garment. I would love to go to Bottega or Loro Piana, but I haven’t been invited. Maybe I should be invited. [Editor’s note: Please invite Jenna Lyons! ]
Consani: A lot of my friends are into closet sales, and I’ve been to a few. In my opinion they’re the best because you see new clothes, vintage clothes, clothes of all different sizes and different eras. And it’s less organized, so you have to dig. I’m an exploratory person; I grew up shopping at Goodwill, so that’s my score.
What’s your dream sample sale?
Lyons: Does Hermès have sample sales? I don’t think so. Valentino, Chanel. I mean, I’m sure they don’t even need to. Yves Saint Laurent. Anything with this level of quality of the clothes. Bottega would be beautiful. I mean, there are so many beautiful clothes there.
Consani: Birkin sample sale? If I got a Birkin, I would take back everything I said in the interview. I would go crazy if they had a sample sale of Birkin bags. I want to buy 50 Birkin bags. I’m going to fight. I’ll do everything I can to get it for free or cheap.
