Do They Really Not Care About Valentine’s Day? Here’s What Relationship Experts Say
When your partner says, “I don’t care about Valentine’s Day,” do they really mean it? Or are they downplaying their expectations to avoid disappointment? This question has puzzled many, leading to confusion and sometimes, hurt feelings.
According to relationship experts, the answer isn’t as straightforward as it seems. While some genuinely don’t care about the holiday, others may secretly want a romantic gesture but don’t want to seem demanding or “high-maintenance.”
Why Some People Downplay Valentine’s Day
- Fear of Disappointment: If someone has been let down before, they might downplay their expectations to avoid getting hurt again.
- Not Wanting to Seem High-Maintenance: In a society that often labels women as “demanding” for wanting romantic gestures, some partners might pretend not to care to appear more easygoing.
- Genuine Indifference: Of course, some people genuinely don’t care about the commercial aspects of Valentine’s Day and would prefer to express love in more personal ways.
What Experts Suggest
Marriage therapists suggest that it’s safer to err on the side of caution. A small gesture, even if they claim not to care, can go a long way in making them feel loved and appreciated. According to Kurt Smith, a therapist specializing in counseling men, “The vast majority of women do care, even if it’s just to know that their partner still loves them.”
How to Approach Valentine’s Day When They Say They Don’t Care
- Communicate: Don’t be afraid to ask clarifying questions to understand their expectations better.
- Keep It Simple: If you’re unsure, a heartfelt note or a small, thoughtful gesture can be a safe bet.
- Avoid Over-The-Top Gestures: If they insist they don’t care, avoid grand gestures that might make them uncomfortable.