Joaquin Phoenix

On January 26, 2006, Phoenix was cruising along a twisty canyon road when, outta nowhere, his car flipped over. Total chaos. He’s stuck inside, all rattled, and suddenly hears someone tapping on the window, telling him to “just relax.” Phoenix, probably thinking he’s dreaming or something, says he’s fine and totally relaxed (which, come on, nobody’s buying). Turns out, the guy at the window is none other than Werner Herzog—yeah, that Werner Herzog, the famously odd German filmmaker. Herzog calls him out, like, “No, you’re not,” which is honestly hilarious in the middle of a car wreck. After getting Phoenix out, Herzog grabs his phone, calls for an ambulance, and then just disappears into the ether—classic Herzog move. The whole thing? Yeah, apparently it went down because the brakes failed. Can’t make this stuff up.

So, there’s this guy—kind of your classic everyman, little bit awkward, big heart, not a clue what he’s doing when it comes to romance. He gets tangled up with a Catholic girl, which, honestly, you’d think would be no big deal, but turns out, her faith is a pretty serious thing. Like, real boundaries. He’s head over heels, but let’s just say she’s not exactly jumping at the chance to take things to the next level… in the biblical sense. He tries all sorts of goofy moves, awkward attempts at charm, even some desperate late-night conversations about love and sin and all that jazz. There’s a lot of hanging around, hoping, wishing, getting shot down—sometimes gently, sometimes with a look that could kill. It’s all very teenage, all hormones and confusion, and the poor guy can’t catch a break. In the end, it’s about growing up, facing rejection, and learning that not every crush ends the way you want.