“Of course I want to get married and get attention,” Kat Cohen admits in an eight-minute segment of her new comedy special “Come for Me,” which airs Oct. 17. It airs today on the streaming service Veeps! Still wanting the predictability of the plot…maybe something traditional? (At least one or two of them.)
“Now that I have a boyfriend, I forgot about it, but for a long time my whole life was ‘I have to have a boyfriend,’ and now I’m like, who is that guy?'” Cohen recalled sitting outside Katz’s Deli eating bagels. Cohen recently moved in with actor Brian Mueller, whom she dated for five years, which gave her a chance to see a new side of him: “Now that I’m living with him, he behaves like a little boy. Emotionally your IQ is high, but you eat candy in the morning. He’s perfect.”
Cohen’s tolerance for romance has grown in recent years, but her onstage image remains the same as it was early in her career, when she sang “Boys never want to kiss me, so now I do comedy acts.” The Houston-raised, Princeton-educated comedian and her group of friends — including Patti Harrison, Mitra Juhari and Lori Adefope — have long served as the virtual “It Girls” of the deliberately unpopular alternative comedy scene. Take Cohen’s music, for instance, with its glittery jumpsuits (designed by stylist Kelsey Randall) and punchlines that are mesmerizing and deliberately affecting, if only she weren’t so obviously in on the joke that it would seem inappropriate.
Some comedians might have trouble combining specifics about growing up with a series of less coy disclosures. (Cohen recently recounted the first time he had oral sex with a woman: “It was like putting eyeliner on someone.”) But Cohen has a unique talent for establishing and maintaining a party atmosphere, no matter how dark the tone of his material, and he has spent years playing gay roles in the East Village. He had ample opportunity to hone this talent during cabaret performances at the Cummings Club. Cohen, who co-hosts the podcast “Seeking Cure” with comedian Pat Regan, has a knack for using his physical form to be funny without muddying the waters of comedy with uncensored fatphobia. In Cohen’s world, the joke is always about the world’s inability to accept big butts, not the big-butt owners themselves. (“My boyfriend loves my body because he’s a pervert,” Cohen coyly tells his “Cum for Me” audience.)
I was curious what it would be like to turn back to traditional markers of adulthood after spending those unfortunate years in the comedy-bro-led stand-up Neverland. When I asked Cohen how his comedy has changed since starting a serious relationship, he said, “I think I’m more stable now and less broken.” I used to be a nerd, and now it’s like, “Wait, since I’m not causing chaos in relationships, what’s so funny about me?” Jokes about someone you’re dating, compared to comedy based on a serious long-term relationship?
It may seem cliché to think about “the future” at 32, but Cohen has more reason than most of us to do so. She’s gone through some big things in the past few years, including a stroke and subsequent surgery last year, and she doesn’t hesitate to talk about the process of freezing her eggs on “Come to Me.” (Listen to Cohen here: “They suck out your eggs with a Dyson Airwrap or something, and then you wake up and you’re a bitch for a week and your panties look like a Rothko painting, but other than that it’s fine. Realizing how crazy that was, I’m really grateful,” Cohen told me.
Gratitude aside, Cohen isn’t ready to give up her unfettered freedom. “I’m definitely not ready to be a mother. I am, however, ready to be a father. Fathers are like pizza! See you in two weeks! Phew! Briefcase!” I recently met a very attractive woman who asked if I should have a baby and said, ‘Obviously, it’s the most fun thing you can do.’ “I was like, ‘Really? Because a lot of it sounds boring,'” Cohen told me.
Marriage and parenthood are likely in Cohen’s future, even if she has mixed and relatable feelings about wanting those things in the first place. (“If you want to be with me, there’s only one thing to know // Even though I want to say no, I still want you to propose,” she croons at the end of “Come for Me.”) But now, however, she already has enough to fill her plate — in addition to her upcoming special, she’ll also release her first comedy album in November, which is rumored to include more than one holiday song. Beware, the warbling “Queen of Christmas” is coming for you, and she has a few Hanukkah numbers hidden up her artfully decorated sleeve.
